Soft & Stronger

Die Apokalyptischen Reiter unleashed their debut album Soft and Stronger in 1997. These guys, and this album in particular, were so fucking awesome that they named the album after the Kleenex tissue slogan and it doesn't even matter. In fact, it actually makes this album even awesomerer. And I don't particularly care if I just made that word up, this album is so sick that it imbues such literary authority upon all who listen.

In their early days, these whacked out Germans were creating albums of explosive and unpredictable heavy metal glory. I unfortunately have to stress the word were. A few albums ago they began to water down their once awe inspiring high energy insanity in favor of more pop-friendly melodies and general limp-wristedness. Their latest album imbues me with the literary authority to insult them in such a manner.

But let us not become distracted from the absolutely ripping heavy metal glory that is Soft and Stronger. Death, thrash, folk and pure heavy... almost all the metal fiefdoms are represented on this bizarre and infectious album. This is the kind of album that will inspire you to fire up the old crack pipe and go for a fun filled drive through a Little League field during the fourth inning. It is DY-NO-MITE.

...enjoy...

PS: this is the re-released edition with some bonus tracks.YAY!

Postmortem Tales

How would you like your metal tonight, Sir?
Blackened with a retro-thrash fusion, please.
Any sides?
Yes, a side of the fucking apocalypse please.
Very well, it'll be right out.

Some people don't like Swordmaster. Some people don't like this album. Those people are creeps.

back to business!

Fearless Undead Machines

1997 is not remembered as the most prolific year for death/thrash metal... but don't tell King Fowley and the rest of the gang collectively known as Deceased. Fearless Undead Machines pours forth with thrash/heavy metal goodness. And what better to sing about than the zombification of the civilized world? Each track serves to detail a world once recognizable as our own, but now being overrun by the undead. And it straight up rocks. Romero would be proud. Shit, maybe he is. What do I know?

Really, these guys have always been an underground favorite but deserve so much more. If there is such a thing as being "true" or "real" in the world of metal, then Deceased is it. They've been at it since like 1984 and nothing has stopped them yet. Not hair metal, not grunge, not emo,nor screamo, not hip hop, not what passes for country music these days, not hardcore,metalcore, or mathcore, not even the lamest most vile of all things: U2, could stop these Heavy Metal soldiers. They just keep on moving forward like a... well... a zombie.

By the by, if I were on such a nominating committee, Fearless Undead Machines would be on the list of my Top Ten album covers of the 1990's.

They're coming to get you, Barbara!